Lately I’ve been feeling low in the self esteem department. I think it really came up last week when I started my new (and second) job. I’ve since been thinking along the lines of:
“Man! I could really go for a new tattoo!”
“Wouldn’t it be nice to get that unique ear piercing I’ve wanted FOREVER?”
“My hair needs trimmed up. Maybe I should dye it when I’m getting it cut!”
Here’s the deal: I have scars on my face from an auto-immune disorder. A disease that is actually flaring up so that I have an open wound on each cheek. I get a lot of questions/comments on it. Especially at work- the job I’ve worked at for almost a year and now my new one. It’s kind of annoying and maybe I’ll rant about it later, but since I’ve lived with this condition my whole life I’ve kept onto some truths.
1. People can be shallow. I’d like to say nothing can hurt me anymore because I’ve heard most of it; except that’s not true at all. It stings a little every time my face is brought up. The thing is to not be shallow back. The attitude of you just said something hurtful to me and now I’m going to try to hurt you back a little bit but in a classier and better way is low. Really low. I have that attitude too often, and it won’t get me anywhere in life. Especially because that’s not the type of person I want to be.
2. When you’re bummed DO NOT focus on appearance. Everyone can find something wrong with the way they look. When you feel down- even more so. I do want another tattoo at some point and I probably will get that piercing in my ear and everyone around me knows I need my hair cut, but I can’t think these things will fix me and make me feel better. Why?
3. Because I don’t need fixed. I am fine the way I am now and I will be fine the way I will be in 5 years and I was fine 10 years ago and so on. I am who I am. Whatever stage of life I am in- I’m just fine. What’s important is me using this time to focus on who I am as a person and how I want to handle myself, rather than perfecting my “look.” I’ll come out a stronger and better person from this round of being in the dumps. Count on it.
Personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures. -F. Scott Fitzgerald